One day a man inserted an 'advert' in the local classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

Man runs home shouting pack your bags honey, i just won 10 million in lottery. wife: Do i pack for beach or Resort ? Man : Who cares? just pack and get lost.

Q: Why are husbands like lawn mowers? A: They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time!

Reporter: How does it feel to become a millionaire? Millionaire: Sad, because I am not a billionaire.

Boss: (to employee) - Experts say humor on the job relieves tension in this time of down-sizing, Knock, Knock. Employee: Who's there? Boss: Not you anymore.

Santa Banta find a bomb Santa and Banta find three hand grenades and decide to take them to the police station. "What if one of them explodes before we get there?" asks Banta. "Don’t worry about it," says Santa. "We’ll just lie and tell them we only found two."

When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness

Lady1:"What do u think bout husbands?" Lady2:"They r like OWLS..!" Lady1:"How?"Lady2:"They see good things in their wives only in the night.

What is the next thing a Man should do after winning an argument wit his Wife ?...........Apologise

WIFE: What Should I Get FOR U FROM London? HUS: A BRITISH Girl! She Left Quietly. On Her Return. HUS: My Gift? WIFE: Honey,Wait For 9Month.

Stalking into a police station late one night, a man demands to speak to the burglar who broke into his home. "Sorry,that's against the rule," says the desk sergeant."You didn't get it," says the man."I need to know how he got in without waking my wife."

Two men are discussing their lives. One says, "I'm getting married. I'm tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and no clothes to wear." The other one says, "I'm getting divorced for the same reasons."