Santa Banta find a bomb Santa and Banta find three hand grenades and decide to take them to the police station. "What if one of them explodes before we get there?" asks Banta. "Don’t worry about it," says Santa. "We’ll just lie and tell them we only found two."

A Student goes into a library & asks for a book on suicide..! Librarian: "Get lost dude, U won't bring it back.

Teacher:I wish you would pay a little attention!Student:I'm paying as little as I can sir

A sardar on an interview for the post of detective was asked a question - Interviewer - Who killed Gandhiji ? Sardar - Thanks for giving me the job, I will investigate.

LAST NIGHT SHE CAME TO MY BED,LAYED ON MY BODY,TOOK LIQUID FROM MY BODY AND GOT SATISFACTION .SHE WAS A MOSQUITO

Boss: (to employee) - Experts say humor on the job relieves tension in this time of down-sizing, Knock, Knock. Employee: Who's there? Boss: Not you anymore.

Boy: I am not rich like akash, I don't even have a big car like rohit. But I really love you! Girl: I love you too, but tell me more about akash.

Boy & girl in restaurant.Boy-i love U..Girl-i dont love U..Boy-think again?Girl-i told u NOBoy-waiter,bring seperate bills.Girl-i love u too..

Man: Whisper those three words that will make me walk on air. Woman: Go hang yourself

WIFE : " I wish I was a newspaper, so I'd be in ur hands all day." HUSBAND : " I too wish that u were a newspaper, so I could have a new one

Frnd1: u have married with 1 of the twin sisters, how do u recognize ur wife? Frnd2: why should I ? : )

Q: Why do brides wear white? A: To blend in with everything else in the kitchen.