A company held a contest for kids with the theme: "The nicest thing My Father Ever Did For Me." One kid answered "He married my mother."

Wife going to Wife returns. Husband:-where is my gift? Wife:-wait 4 9months. London. Wife:-Do u want anything from England? Husband:-ya... English girl.

What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant

Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden. Boy: It’s very kind of you, darling, but I don’t have any worries or troubles. Girl: Well that’s because we aren’t married yet.

Q: Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?A: He wanted to win the No-bell prize.

judge-what you do? prisnor-This & that judge-where you live? prisnor-here&there judge(to policeman)-Arrest him. prisnor-when i will come out judge-sooner&later

Q: What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his examination? A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I never told them anything

Dost Ko Dost ka Ishara yad Reheta he Hr Dost Ko Apna Dostana Yad Reheta he Kuch pal Sachhe dost k Sath to Gujaro Wo Afsana Maut tak YaaD Reheta he

Never Explain Yourself to Anyone Because The person Who Likes U Doesnt Need It. And The Person Who Dislikes U Wont belive it....!!

Stalking into a police station late one night, a man demands to speak to the burglar who broke into his home. "Sorry,that's against the rule," says the desk sergeant."You didn't get it," says the man."I need to know how he got in without waking my wife."

Lady sitting on a park bench.Beggar:Hi darling.!shall v have some fun ?lady angrily:How dare U ?Beggar:Then What r U doin on my bed ?

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said, "Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"