Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful am I for you? Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem can there be greater than this one?”

Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Judge to accused: Have you anything to offer before I pass sentence on you?Accused: No, Your Honour. My lawyer took my last dollar.

Sir:Can ppl tell the future with cards?Sam:My mom can.Sir:Really?Sam:1 look at my report card n she wll tel me wot happens whn dad gets home

Two beggars met. Two software engineers met. Both asked the same question to each other. Guess What 'So? Which platform are u working on?

Why do elephants never forget? Because nobody ever tells them anything

Teacher : Peter,why are you late for school again? PeteWell, Miss,I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time

A father to his adopted son "Whats the height of laziness?" Son replied "What more than havin an adopted son.

Santa's wife dies. He is calm, but his wife's lover is crying furiously... Finally, santa consoles him: Don't worry buddy, I will marry again

TeacheHow come you do not comb your hair? Boy: No comb, Sir. TeacheUse your dad's then. Boy: No hair, Sir.

A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

D bos came early in d morng one day n found his manager kissing his secratry. He shouted at him,"is dis what i pay 4 u"? D manager rplid- no sir dis i do free