Teacher : Peter,why are you late for school again? PeteWell, Miss,I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time

Man runs home shouting pack your bags honey, i just won 10 million in lottery. wife: Do i pack for beach or Resort ? Man : Who cares? just pack and get lost.

Devdas’s matrimonial ad- Wanted wife. Age no bar! Height No bar! Luks no bar! Caste No Bar! But gal’s father shoul have his own Bar.

Wife:Honey wht ru looking4? Husband:Nothing. Wife:Nothing?U've been reading our marriage certificate 4an hour?Husband:I was just luking 4d expriy date!

TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.WINNIE : Me!

Husband says"When Im gone you'll nevr find another man like me". Wife replied"What makes you think I'd want another man like you?!!!".

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said, "Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"

Teache"Where is Himalaya?"Student: "Madam, I dont know."Teache"Dont know?? Stand on the desk."Student: "I still cant see.

English Teacher: Make a sentence using "Neither-Nor" Naughty boy Student: When girls wear tight fitting dresses, "NEiTHER" are they comfortable, "NOR" are we!

What is D diff. betwn a Secretary&a Personal Secretary? Secretary says,"Good Morning Sir"&Personal Secretary says,"Oh my God!Its morninG sir.

A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court,” said the desk sergeant. “No, no, no!”, said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”

Teacher: pappu, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. pappu: Me!