A Student goes into a library & asks for a book on suicide..! Librarian: "Get lost dude, U won't bring it back.

Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Height of technical thinking... A software person falling from the roof of a building and shouting F1 F1 F1 instead of help help......!!

tom enters kitchen and opens the sugar box. Sees inside and closes it. Wife observes the whole episode Again he comes and does the same stuff. Wife asks Why are you doing this? Tom replies: Doctor told to check sugar level regularly

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do? Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes

Husband:You know,our son got his brain from me...............Wife:I think he did,I still got mine with me!!!

Q: Why are husbands like lawn mowers? A: They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time!

A cop stops a drunk man and asks: Where you going? I'm going to listen the lecture about the harm of the drunkenness and alcoholism. At night? And who will give a lecture?My wife and mother-in-law!

Teacher:The best way to double the money in stock market!Student:Invest 4 times the money!!---

Santa Banta find a bomb Santa and Banta find three hand grenades and decide to take them to the police station. "What if one of them explodes before we get there?" asks Banta. "Don’t worry about it," says Santa. "We’ll just lie and tell them we only found two."

What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant

Girl: Will you love me after marriage also? Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.