Sir:G.Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree,but also admitted doing it. Now,kid, do you know why his father didn't punish him?"kid:Because George still had the axe in his hand.

Reporter: How does it feel to become a millionaire? Millionaire: Sad, because I am not a billionaire.

First Lady-"If you dont love your husband why dont you divorce him???"2nd Lady-Oh I hate him so much that I dont want to see him haappy

Doctor, doctor, will i be able to play the violin after the operation?" "yes of course...." "Great ! i never could before"

TEACHER== Name four members of the cat family? STUDENTS== Daddy cat,Mummy cat and two kittens

Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated? Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court,” said the desk sergeant. “No, no, no!”, said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”

Father: What was the hardest thing u learned at college?Son: How to open Beer bottles with teeth...!!

Wife: Im ashamed of the way we live; papa pays the house rent, my brother sends food and clothing, aunty pays our electric and water bills and my friend Sheela buys us movie tickets.I dont like to complain but now its too much. Husband: U shud be ashamed; uve still got 1 sister and 2 brothers, who dont send us even a single penny.

Boss: Drive slow. Driver: But sir, u said you want to reach the hospital fast. Boss: Yes, but not as a patient..

TeacheHow come you do not comb your hair? Boy: No comb, Sir. TeacheUse your dad's then. Boy: No hair, Sir.

Teache Give An example to use neither-nor. Boy: When girls wear tight fittings, neither they are comfortable nor we are comfortable…