Boy: Mummy, if I failed in this exam I'll commite suicide.Mothe'Shut up! Never say that. If U try to do so I'll just kill you..

tom enters kitchen and opens the sugar box. Sees inside and closes it. Wife observes the whole episode Again he comes and does the same stuff. Wife asks Why are you doing this? Tom replies: Doctor told to check sugar level regularly

English Teacher: Make a sentence using "Neither-Nor" Naughty boy Student: When girls wear tight fitting dresses, "NEiTHER" are they comfortable, "NOR" are we!

Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?" jonny: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day same time."

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor." I asked her, "Where's the car?" She replied,. In the lake."

Girl: Will you love me after marriage also? Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.

“Me sick, no work” Boss SMS back: “When I am sick I kiss my wife try it” 2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss: “Me ok, ur wife very sweet”

Santa Banta find a bomb Santa and Banta find three hand grenades and decide to take them to the police station. "What if one of them explodes before we get there?" asks Banta. "Don’t worry about it," says Santa. "We’ll just lie and tell them we only found two."

TEACHER : “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him?” PAPPU : “Because George still had the axe in his hand?”

Wife:Wherever we keep d money, our son steals it.I don't know what to do about itHus: Keep it in his ENGINEERING books. He'l never touch.

Why do elephants never forget? Because nobody ever tells them anything

A police recruit was asked during exam, "What would u do if u had to arrest ur own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."