Man runs home shouting pack your bags honey, i just won 10 million in lottery. wife: Do i pack for beach or Resort ? Man : Who cares? just pack and get lost.

Wife was teaching English Grammar to her husband. Wife- 'I am Beautiful.' Which tense is this? Husband- Past Tense.-

Wife: Im ashamed of the way we live; papa pays the house rent, my brother sends food and clothing, aunty pays our electric and water bills and my friend Sheela buys us movie tickets.I dont like to complain but now its too much. Husband: U shud be ashamed; uve still got 1 sister and 2 brothers, who dont send us even a single penny.

A company held a contest for kids with the theme: "The nicest thing My Father Ever Did For Me." One kid answered "He married my mother."

Movie director:in this scene u jump from 10th floor.Actor:what if i die?director:Dats not at all a problem,It"s da last scene

Son: Mummy, dad is very honest... Mummy: How can u say that..? Son: Simple... He closes one eye whenever he sees any lady passing by...!

TeacheHow come you do not comb your hair? Boy: No comb, Sir. TeacheUse your dad's then. Boy: No hair, Sir.

Mr A: my wife kisses me every night when I get home. Mr B: mine too, but only 2 c if I have been drinking.

A boy goes to see a cabare dance.His mom gets angry & asks him:Did u see anything ther that u were not supposed to see?Boy:Yes,I saw DAD

TEACHER : PAPPU, give me a sentence starting with “I”. PAPPU : I is… TEACHER : No, PAPPU. Always say, “I am.” PAPPU : All right… “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”

TEACHER== Name four members of the cat family? STUDENTS== Daddy cat,Mummy cat and two kittens

What is the height of mixed emotions??? when ur mother in law falls from 7th floor on ur mercedes