A lady gave an advertisement in the classifieds : "Husband Wanted". Next day she received a 100 letters. They all said da same thing : "U can have mine"

Physics teachr saw boy slepin Askd "Telme da unit f power" Boy woke up n said-"What sir?" Teachr exclaimd"Ok Gud Sit Down!" What=WATT!

Can I go to the theatre? Asks a mosquito ot her mother. "yes but be aware, pay attention during the applause."

Husband to wife: Why do you keep reading our marriage licence? Wife to Husband: I'm looking for a loophole

Wife:Wherever we keep d money, our son steals it.I don't know what to do about itHus: Keep it in his ENGINEERING books. He'l never touch.

Wife: u know, husband and wife are not allowed 2 be together in heaven!!! Husband: yes, that's y it's called heaven

Wife going to Wife returns. Husband:-where is my gift? Wife:-wait 4 9months. London. Wife:-Do u want anything from England? Husband:-ya... English girl.

Wife: Im ashamed of the way we live; papa pays the house rent, my brother sends food and clothing, aunty pays our electric and water bills and my friend Sheela buys us movie tickets.I dont like to complain but now its too much. Husband: U shud be ashamed; uve still got 1 sister and 2 brothers, who dont send us even a single penny.

2 sardar soldiers captured a pakistani, gave him dice & said, if u get 1,2,3,4,5 V'll kill u! paki asks: 6 aya to? sardars: Then, throw again..

A girl wearing very short skirt.A boy asks he Won't yr mom tell anythng abt yr dress?Girl replied: My mom will b very angry..bcoz I'm wearing her dress.

1st thief:Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!2nd thief: But this is the 13th floor.1st thief: Hurry! this is no time for superstitions

Mr A: my wife kisses me every night when I get home. Mr B: mine too, but only 2 c if I have been drinking.