Wife: Im ashamed of the way we live; papa pays the house rent, my brother sends food and clothing, aunty pays our electric and water bills and my friend Sheela buys us movie tickets.I dont like to complain but now its too much. Husband: U shud be ashamed; uve still got 1 sister and 2 brothers, who dont send us even a single penny.

Teacher: Sonu, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? Sonu: No, teacher, it's the same dog

Teacher:"Now,children,if I saw a man beating a donkey n stopped him,wht virtue wuld I be showing?" Student:"Brotherly love

somu:mobile bill kitna hai? Callcentre gal:just dial 123 to knw ur current bill status. somu:abe Stupid current ka nahi mobile ka.

Boy: I am not rich like akash, I don't even have a big car like rohit. But I really love you! Girl: I love you too, but tell me more about akash.

Q:Why most men prefer to kiss women's lips? Ans:Thats the best & probably the only way to shut a woman's mouth.

Sir:Can ppl tell the future with cards?Sam:My mom can.Sir:Really?Sam:1 look at my report card n she wll tel me wot happens whn dad gets home

If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.

Teacher : If u have 12 chocolates u gv 5 to Leena,3 to Tina,4 to Meena, den what wil u get? Student: 3 NEW GIRLFRIENDS

Driver:is der no tree on dis road?Passengr:Sir,u r so great,I lik ur social mind.Drivr:Stupid,bus's brake has failed

Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress. I keep losing my temper with people. Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I just did, you stupid bastard!

Teachefour beautiful ladies r walking on the road. Change it to Exclamatory sentence... Student: WOW!.