Wife:Wherever we keep d money, our son steals it.I don't know what to do about itHus: Keep it in his ENGINEERING books. He'l never touch.

1st thief:Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!2nd thief: But this is the 13th floor.1st thief: Hurry! this is no time for superstitions

Stalking into a police station late one night, a man demands to speak to the burglar who broke into his home. "Sorry,that's against the rule," says the desk sergeant."You didn't get it," says the man."I need to know how he got in without waking my wife."

TeacheHow come you do not comb your hair? Boy: No comb, Sir. TeacheUse your dad's then. Boy: No hair, Sir.

Two men were talking at a party. "I," said the first,"only believe half of what people tell me." "Why ?" "I'm a lawyer." "I believe twice what people tell me." "What are you ?" "A tax inspector."

Santa's wife dies. He is calm, but his wife's lover is crying furiously... Finally, santa consoles him: Don't worry buddy, I will marry again

Husband:You know,our son got his brain from me...............Wife:I think he did,I still got mine with me!!!

Lady:Is this my train Station Master:No,it belongs to the Railway Company L:Don't try to be funny I mean to ask if I can take this train to Delhi SM:No Madam,Im afraid its too heavy

Man Conducting Marketing Survey asked a Lady:"Which Book Has HeLped you most in your Life?"Lady:My Husband's "Cheque Book!"

Doctor implants New Ear 2 a man Man: "U fraud,U gave me a woman's ear" Doc: It makes no difference Man: "It does,Now I hear everything but understand nothing"

What is the height of mixed emotions??? when ur mother in law falls from 7th floor on ur mercedes

A company held a contest for kids with the theme: "The nicest thing My Father Ever Did For Me." One kid answered "He married my mother."