I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said, "Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"

A Grl & a Boy were sitting alone.D Boy started touching D grl.Grl:dnt touch me,All this only aftr marriage. Boy:Ok,call me aftr marriage.

Sir:Can ppl tell the future with cards?Sam:My mom can.Sir:Really?Sam:1 look at my report card n she wll tel me wot happens whn dad gets home

Can I go to the theatre? Asks a mosquito ot her mother. "yes but be aware, pay attention during the applause."

Boy:My Gf broke up wth me & sent me d Kissng pics of her & her new Bf Frnd: Oh.its 2 bad Boy: Ya I know..dats Y i sent those pics 2 her Dad

A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court,” said the desk sergeant. “No, no, no!”, said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”

Wife: I hate the Beggar who came yesterday!Husband: Why??Wife: I gave him food yesterday & today He gifted me a book"How to Cook"!!

Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom? TeacheLittle Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom? Little Johnny: But I asked first!

Wife: Im ashamed of the way we live; papa pays the house rent, my brother sends food and clothing, aunty pays our electric and water bills and my friend Sheela buys us movie tickets.I dont like to complain but now its too much. Husband: U shud be ashamed; uve still got 1 sister and 2 brothers, who dont send us even a single penny.

Sir:G.Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree,but also admitted doing it. Now,kid, do you know why his father didn't punish him?"kid:Because George still had the axe in his hand.

Two Cockroach were Hospitalized for Injuries... 1st asked:How come here,BAYGON..? 2nd said:No Man,PARAGON..

Hello My son won't come to school today,he has fever. Teacher: Oh,who's speaking? Boy: This is my father