Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated? Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

A Student goes into a library & asks for a book on suicide..! Librarian: "Get lost dude, U won't bring it back.

Stalking into a police station late one night, a man demands to speak to the burglar who broke into his home. "Sorry,that's against the rule," says the desk sergeant."You didn't get it," says the man."I need to know how he got in without waking my wife."

Lady sitting on a park bench.Beggar:Hi darling.!shall v have some fun ?lady angrily:How dare U ?Beggar:Then What r U doin on my bed ?

Author: "I'm convinced that the publishers have a conspiracy against me." Friend: "What makes you think so?" Author: "Ten of them have refused the same story."

English Teacher: Make a sentence using "Neither-Nor" Naughty boy Student: When girls wear tight fitting dresses, "NEiTHER" are they comfortable, "NOR" are we!

TEACHER== Name four members of the cat family? STUDENTS== Daddy cat,Mummy cat and two kittens

Dad: if u Pass in the exam i will Present u 1 Cycle.Son: if i fail?Dad: i will Present 10 Cycle.Son: why?Dad: To Open Cycle Shop.

Teacher: pappu, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. pappu: Me!

Teachefour beautiful ladies r walking on the road. Change it to Exclamatory sentence... Student: WOW!.

TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?SIMON : No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home