A cop stops a drunk man and asks: Where you going? I'm going to listen the lecture about the harm of the drunkenness and alcoholism. At night? And who will give a lecture?My wife and mother-in-law!

Honey, when we get married, I'll be there to share all your troubles and sorrows." "But I don't have any, my love." "I said, when we get married"

A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist if there is anybody in Room 27 She goes and checks, and comes back to the phone, telling him that the room is empty "Good," says the man. "That means I must have really escaped."

Wife: Why are you home so early? Husband: My boss told me to go to hell.

T'CHER:What do we do with crude oil?S'dent:Teach it some manners

Customer: Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up? Waiter: I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.

A sardar on an interview for the post of detective was asked a question - Interviewer - Who killed Gandhiji ? Sardar - Thanks for giving me the job, I will investigate.

Wife was teaching English Grammar to her husband. Wife- 'I am Beautiful.' Which tense is this? Husband- Past Tense.-

“Me sick, no work” Boss SMS back: “When I am sick I kiss my wife try it” 2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss: “Me ok, ur wife very sweet”

Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth, but don't worry it will take just five minutes. Patient: And how much will it cost? Dentist: It's Rs 1000. Patient: One thousand for just a few minutes work??? Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like

Q: Why are husbands like lawn mowers? A: They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time!

Teacher : Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon? Pupil: Moon... Teacher : Why? Pupil : The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it.