Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress. I keep losing my temper with people. Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I just did, you stupid bastard!

Stalking into a police station late one night, a man demands to speak to the burglar who broke into his home. "Sorry,that's against the rule," says the desk sergeant."You didn't get it," says the man."I need to know how he got in without waking my wife."

Teache"Where is Himalaya?"Student: "Madam, I dont know."Teache"Dont know?? Stand on the desk."Student: "I still cant see.

First Lady-"If you dont love your husband why dont you divorce him???"2nd Lady-Oh I hate him so much that I dont want to see him haappy

Boss: Drive slow. Driver: But sir, u said you want to reach the hospital fast. Boss: Yes, but not as a patient..

Dost Ko Dost ka Ishara yad Reheta he Hr Dost Ko Apna Dostana Yad Reheta he Kuch pal Sachhe dost k Sath to Gujaro Wo Afsana Maut tak YaaD Reheta he

Rampa: what is the cost of hair cut?BarbeRs 20Rampa: Then what is the cost of shaving?BarbeRs 10Rampa: Oh! Ok please Shave my head

A company held a contest for kids with the theme: "The nicest thing My Father Ever Did For Me." One kid answered "He married my mother."

Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: why three? Husband: 4 u and ur parents.

Son asks father diff.btw Confidence and Confidential? Dad says- u are my son, i am confident, ur friend is also my son that's Confidential

DAD TO SON: When i beat u how do u controll ur anger. son: I START CLEANING TOILET DAD: how does that satisfies u? SON:i clean with ur tooth brush

Dad : Son, what do you want for your birthday? Son : Not much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it.