TEACHER : IF U HAVE 12 CHOCOLATES U GV 5 TO LEENA,3 TO TINA,4 TO MEENA, DEN WHAT WIL U GET? STUDENT: 3 NEW GIRLFRIENDS

Q:There is always a sign board'DRIVE SLOWLY' near school,bt never near girls college.Why? Ans:BECAUSE HERE VEHICLES AUTOMATICALLY GET SLOW!

Height of technical thinking... A software person falling from the roof of a building and shouting F1 F1 F1 instead of help help......!!

T'CHER:What do we do with crude oil?S'dent:Teach it some manners

A new Boy joins class_ He finds two Boys similar in appearance. Asks one of them Are you both twins...? Boy replies No. We are neighbour

TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.WINNIE : Me!

Teacher : Peter,why are you late for school again? PeteWell, Miss,I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time

Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth, but don't worry it will take just five minutes. Patient: And how much will it cost? Dentist: It's Rs 1000. Patient: One thousand for just a few minutes work??? Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like

Husband 1: Why do u take your wife only to night clubs? Husband 2: Buddy by the time she gets ready no other place is open!

Sir:Can ppl tell the future with cards?Sam:My mom can.Sir:Really?Sam:1 look at my report card n she wll tel me wot happens whn dad gets home

When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness

Boss: (to employee) - Experts say humor on the job relieves tension in this time of down-sizing, Knock, Knock. Employee: Who's there? Boss: Not you anymore.