A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

FathWhich r d 2 hardest things U learnt in College?Son: Opening Beer botles wth teeth & Lighting Cigarete wth only 1 Match Left In Heavy wind!

Somu:2day my pocket got picked but my wif saved me raj:Did she catch d thief? Somu:No man!She often removes most of d cash frm my Pocket

Honey, when we get married, I'll be there to share all your troubles and sorrows." "But I don't have any, my love." "I said, when we get married"

A cop stops a drunk man and asks: Where you going? I'm going to listen the lecture about the harm of the drunkenness and alcoholism. At night? And who will give a lecture?My wife and mother-in-law!

A Grl & a Boy were sitting alone.D Boy started touching D grl.Grl:dnt touch me,All this only aftr marriage. Boy:Ok,call me aftr marriage.

Man-i want a divorce. My wife hasnt spoken 2 me for six months now! Judge-better think it over! Wives like that are hard 2 get!

Why r Egyptian children always confused? Because after death their daddy becomes Mummy

Santa Banta find a bomb Santa and Banta find three hand grenades and decide to take them to the police station. "What if one of them explodes before we get there?" asks Banta. "Don’t worry about it," says Santa. "We’ll just lie and tell them we only found two."

Teacher:I wish you would pay a little attention!Student:I'm paying as little as I can sir

Wife: Why are you home so early? Husband: My boss told me to go to hell.

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I’ll be yours forever.The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.