Man: God, how long is a million years to you? God: A second. Man: How much is $ 1 Million to you? God: A cent. Man: Can I borrow a cent? God: Wait a second. =)

Boy: I am not rich like akash, I don't even have a big car like rohit. But I really love you! Girl: I love you too, but tell me more about akash.

I went to see the doctor who said, just be a little patient.

Wife:Yester-night I saw a dream that u were sending me jewellery and clothes! Husband: Yeah, I saw ur dad paying the bill !!!

Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth, but don't worry it will take just five minutes. Patient: And how much will it cost? Dentist: It's Rs 1000. Patient: One thousand for just a few minutes work??? Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like

Police to a drunkard: Where are you going? Man: To listen to a lecture on the ill effects of drinking, on health. Pol: Who'll lecture at Midnite? Man:My wife,.

Q: Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?A: He wanted to win the No-bell prize.

An AMERICAN couple on african safari. Suddenly a huge lion springs up n seizes d wife wit its giant jaws.. Wife: "Shoot!, shoot for Christ's sake!" Hus: "I can't! I hav run out of film."

Movie director:in this scene u jump from 10th floor. Actor:what if i die? director:Dats not at all a problem,It"s da last scene

Man: Whisper those three words that will make me walk on air. Woman: Go hang yourself

Teacher:"Now,children,if I saw a man beating a donkey n stopped him,wht virtue wuld I be showing?" Student:"Brotherly love

Wife going to Wife returns. Husband:-where is my gift? Wife:-wait 4 9months. London. Wife:-Do u want anything from England? Husband:-ya... English girl.