A little kid asks his Dad, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" "No idea," replied the Father, "I'm still paying for it..."

Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?" jonny: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day same time."

A pregnant lady goes to one swamiji.The swami says when the baby get's delivered the baby's father will die!The lady says "oh thank god, my husband is safe..

Sir:B quiet boys!I hav a bad headache Sdent:Why dont u do wot mum Does whn she has a headache?Sir:Whats tht?Sdent:She sends us out to paly

Why does history keep repeating it self? Because we weren't listening the first time !

A woman was sitting at a bar when a man approached her and said, Hi, sweetie! Want a little company? Woman: Why? Do u have one to sell???

DAD TO SON: When i beat u how do u controll ur anger. son: I START CLEANING TOILET DAD: how does that satisfies u? SON:i clean with ur tooth brush

Stalking into a police station late one night, a man demands to speak to the burglar who broke into his home. "Sorry,that's against the rule," says the desk sergeant."You didn't get it," says the man."I need to know how he got in without waking my wife."

What is D diff. betwn a Secretary&a Personal Secretary? Secretary says,"Good Morning Sir"&Personal Secretary says,"Oh my God!Its morninG sir.

Kid: 'Mom who is God?'Mom:'God is neither male nor fmale,not child,not adult,not blak not white &he loves children'Kid:'Oh! Michael Jakson!'

Mr.bean said to his GirlFriend"I luv u"& fell down. Again Told"I luv u"&fell down.Girl: y u r doing like this? Mr.bean: I am falling in love

A Student goes into a library & asks for a book on suicide..! Librarian: "Get lost dude, U won't bring it back.