Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom? TeacheLittle Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom? Little Johnny: But I asked first!

A lady gave an advertisement in the classifieds : "Husband Wanted". Next day she received a 100 letters. They all said da same thing : "U can have mine"

Tcher: 3 grls are walking in da road. Turn the sentence in to exclamitory. studnt: WOW!

Teachefour beautiful ladies r walking on the road. Change it to Exclamatory sentence... Student: WOW!.

The definition of a perfect Wife? - one who helps the husband with the dishes..

Commerce professor asks the student: what is the most important source of finance for starting business? Student: "Father in law".

A teacher was asking her class what their fathers did. When she asked young Johnny, he said, "My father's dead, Miss." "Oh, I am sorry, Johnny. In that case, what did he do before he died?" "He went blue and collapsed."

A girl comes late to class.TeacheY r u late?Girl: One boy was following me.T: So what?Girl: The boy was walking slowly.

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do? Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes

What does Santa do after taking a xerox? He compares it with the original for any spelling mistakes.

Can I go to the theatre? Asks a mosquito ot her mother. "yes but be aware, pay attention during the applause."

A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court,” said the desk sergeant. “No, no, no!”, said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”