Lady:Is this my train Station Master:No,it belongs to the Railway Company L:Don't try to be funny I mean to ask if I can take this train to Delhi SM:No Madam,Im afraid its too heavy

Two flies order some food in a restaurant. One says: I'll take the shit with garlic. And I'll take the same, but without garlic, said the other one. I don't like to have bad breath.

Two men are discussing their lives. One says, "I'm getting married. I'm tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and no clothes to wear." The other one says, "I'm getting divorced for the same reasons."

Hello My son won't come to school today,he has fever. Teacher: Oh,who's speaking? Boy: This is my father

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful am I for you? Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem can there be greater than this one?”

Man to Doc:Is there any way for long life? Doc:Get married. Man:Will it help? Doc:No,but the thought of long life will never come to your mind

Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth, but don't worry it will take just five minutes. Patient: And how much will it cost? Dentist: It's Rs 1000. Patient: One thousand for just a few minutes work??? Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like

There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married - now he is going through Hell!!!

Teacher:I wish you would pay a little attention!Student:I'm paying as little as I can sir

teachewat is the relation betn earth & moon? pappu: brother-sister. teacher:how? pappu: we cal earth dharti mata & moon as chanda mama

A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

PAPPU : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt ? FATHER : No. Why do you ask that? PAPPU: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then