Two flies order some food in a restaurant. One says: I'll take the shit with garlic. And I'll take the same, but without garlic, said the other one. I don't like to have bad breath.

Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated? Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

Why do bosses prefer round table conferences? So that no1 can corner them.

A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court,” said the desk sergeant. “No, no, no!”, said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”

Father: What was the hardest thing u learned at college?Son: How to open Beer bottles with teeth...!!

A new Boy joins class_ He finds two Boys similar in appearance. Asks one of them Are you both twins...? Boy replies No. We are neighbour

Son: Mummy, dad is very honest... Mummy: How can u say that..? Son: Simple... He closes one eye whenever he sees any lady passing by...!

Why do u take your wife 2 night clubs only?Laloo-By the time she gets ready no othr place is open

A woman was sitting at a bar when a man approached her and said, Hi, sweetie! Want a little company? Woman: Why? Do u have one to sell???

Teachefour beautiful ladies r walking on the road. Change it to Exclamatory sentence... Student: WOW!.

young girl praying:pls God marry me with intelligent man god replied: thats impossible, because intelligent men don't get married

Q: Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?A: He wanted to win the No-bell prize.