Boss: Drive slow. Driver: But sir, u said you want to reach the hospital fast. Boss: Yes, but not as a patient..

Why do elephants never forget? Because nobody ever tells them anything

Man: Whisper those three words that will make me walk on air. Woman: Go hang yourself

A little kid asks his Dad, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" "No idea," replied the Father, "I'm still paying for it..."

Wife: Im ashamed of the way we live; papa pays the house rent, my brother sends food and clothing, aunty pays our electric and water bills and my friend Sheela buys us movie tickets.I dont like to complain but now its too much. Husband: U shud be ashamed; uve still got 1 sister and 2 brothers, who dont send us even a single penny.

TeacheHow come you do not comb your hair? Boy: No comb, Sir. TeacheUse your dad's then. Boy: No hair, Sir.

Pappu: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady. Jeeto: Well, you have done the right thing. Pappu: But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap

Husband to wife: Why do you keep reading our marriage licence? Wife to Husband: I'm looking for a loophole

Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom? TeacheLittle Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom? Little Johnny: But I asked first!

What did one magnet say to the other? I find you very attractive.

Doctor to lady: U look exactly like my 3rd wife. Lady: How many wife do u have? Docto2.

Why dogs don't marry? A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!