judge-what you do? prisnor-This & that judge-where you live? prisnor-here&there judge(to policeman)-Arrest him. prisnor-when i will come out judge-sooner&later

Santa Banta find a bomb Santa and Banta find three hand grenades and decide to take them to the police station. "What if one of them explodes before we get there?" asks Banta. "Don’t worry about it," says Santa. "We’ll just lie and tell them we only found two."

Sir:Can ppl tell the future with cards?Sam:My mom can.Sir:Really?Sam:1 look at my report card n she wll tel me wot happens whn dad gets home

Why does history keep repeating it self? Because we weren't listening the first time !

When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness

Pappu: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady. Jeeto: Well, you have done the right thing. Pappu: But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I’ll be yours forever.The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.

Hello My son won't come to school today,he has fever. Teacher: Oh,who's speaking? Boy: This is my father

A father to his adopted son "Whats the height of laziness?" Son replied "What more than havin an adopted son.

Wife: Why are you home so early? Husband: My boss told me to go to hell.

Honey, when we get married, I'll be there to share all your troubles and sorrows." "But I don't have any, my love." "I said, when we get married"

I went to see the doctor who said, just be a little patient.