TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.WINNIE : Me!

Why does history keep repeating it self? Because we weren't listening the first time !

Teacher:Draw A Diagram Of Bacteria Pappu:Here It Is Sir Teacher:Where? u Haven't Drawn Anything Pappu:Sir,Cn u See Bacteria Withot Microscop

Why dogs don't marry? A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!

Boy- From the day I m ur friend, I m not able to eat, drink or smoke.Girl- how sweet, so u r madly in LOVE with me..!Boy- SHUT UP..!!, U made my pocket empty.

Doctor implants New Ear 2 a man Man: "U fraud,U gave me a woman's ear" Doc: It makes no difference Man: "It does,Now I hear everything but understand nothing"

*A young accountant stayed late at the office day after day. Finally, the boss called him in and asked for an explanation. "Well, you see sir," he stammered, "my wife works, too-- and if I get home before she does, I have to cook the dinner."

Husband to wife: Why do you keep reading our marriage licence? Wife to Husband: I'm looking for a loophole

Principal 2 students:U people must sleep atleast 7 hours a day.Students:Impossible sir!College is only for 6 hours!

Doctor, doctor, will i be able to play the violin after the operation?" "yes of course...." "Great ! i never could before"

Police to a drunkard: Where are you going? Man: To listen to a lecture on the ill effects of drinking, on health. Pol: Who'll lecture at Midnite? Man:My wife,.

A police recruit was asked during exam, "What would u do if u had to arrest ur own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."