A pregnant lady goes to one swamiji.The swami says when the baby get's delivered the baby's father will die!The lady says "oh thank god, my husband is safe..
Two men were talking at a party. "I," said the first,"only believe half of what people tell me." "Why ?" "I'm a lawyer." "I believe twice what people tell me." "What are you ?" "A tax inspector."
Two flies order some food in a restaurant. One says: I'll take the shit with garlic. And I'll take the same, but without garlic, said the other one. I don't like to have bad breath.
Man calls mental hospital & asks if there is anybody in Room 27. Lady checks & tells him that the room is empty. Man: Good,that means I have really escaped.!
Man: God, how long is a million years to you? God: A second. Man: How much is $ 1 Million to you? God: A cent. Man: Can I borrow a cent? God: Wait a second. =)