A girl comes late to class.TeacheY r u late?Girl: One boy was following me.T: So what?Girl: The boy was walking slowly.

Wife: u know, husband and wife are not allowed 2 be together in heaven!!! Husband: yes, that's y it's called heaven

Mr A: my wife kisses me every night when I get home. Mr B: mine too, but only 2 c if I have been drinking.

What does Santa do after taking a xerox? He compares it with the original for any spelling mistakes.

Santa Banta find a bomb Santa and Banta find three hand grenades and decide to take them to the police station. "What if one of them explodes before we get there?" asks Banta. "Don’t worry about it," says Santa. "We’ll just lie and tell them we only found two."

Man: Whisper those three words that will make me walk on air. Woman: Go hang yourself

Man to Doc:Is there any way for long life? Doc:Get married. Man:Will it help? Doc:No,but the thought of long life will never come to your mind

What did Tarzan say when he heard the elephants coming? Here come the elephants!

MAchine inventd 2 CAtch Thieves IN UK,IT C Aught 50 theives in 30 Min SPAIN:IT CAught 110 in 1hr IndiA:In 15 Min MAchine was Stolen

Girl: Will you love me after marriage also? Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.

TEACHER== Name four members of the cat family? STUDENTS== Daddy cat,Mummy cat and two kittens

A father to his adopted son "Whats the height of laziness?" Son replied "What more than havin an adopted son.