Santa Banta find a bomb Santa and Banta find three hand grenades and decide to take them to the police station. "What if one of them explodes before we get there?" asks Banta. "Don’t worry about it," says Santa. "We’ll just lie and tell them we only found two."

Q: Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?A: He wanted to win the No-bell prize.

Devdas’s matrimonial ad- Wanted wife. Age no bar! Height No bar! Luks no bar! Caste No Bar! But gal’s father shoul have his own Bar.

Boy:My Gf broke up wth me & sent me d Kissng pics of her & her new Bf Frnd: Oh.its 2 bad Boy: Ya I know..dats Y i sent those pics 2 her Dad

Principal 2 students:U people must sleep atleast 7 hours a day.Students:Impossible sir!College is only for 6 hours!

Why do u take your wife 2 night clubs only?Laloo-By the time she gets ready no othr place is open

Mr.bean said to his GirlFriend"I luv u"& fell down. Again Told"I luv u"&fell down.Girl: y u r doing like this? Mr.bean: I am falling in love

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical and a good cook..... But the law allows only one wife

Teacher : Peter,why are you late for school again? PeteWell, Miss,I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time

Husband:You know,our son got his brain from me...............Wife:I think he did,I still got mine with me!!!

Judge to accused: Have you anything to offer before I pass sentence on you?Accused: No, Your Honour. My lawyer took my last dollar.

A Student goes into a library & asks for a book on suicide..! Librarian: "Get lost dude, U won't bring it back.