Two flies order some food in a restaurant. One says: I'll take the shit with garlic. And I'll take the same, but without garlic, said the other one. I don't like to have bad breath.

JUDGE:WHY did U Shoot Ur Wife instead of shooting her LOVER?MAN:Ur Honour, it\'s Easier 2 Shoot a WOMAN once,than ----SHOOTING a Man Every Month

Q: Why are husbands like lawn mowers? A: They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time!

T'CHER:What do we do with crude oil?S'dent:Teach it some manners

Wife: Im ashamed of the way we live; papa pays the house rent, my brother sends food and clothing, aunty pays our electric and water bills and my friend Sheela buys us movie tickets.I dont like to complain but now its too much. Husband: U shud be ashamed; uve still got 1 sister and 2 brothers, who dont send us even a single penny.

Father: What was the hardest thing u learned at college?Son: How to open Beer bottles with teeth...!!

Height of technical thinking... A software person falling from the roof of a building and shouting F1 F1 F1 instead of help help......!!

Husband 1: Why do u take your wife only to night clubs? Husband 2: Buddy by the time she gets ready no other place is open!

Son: Mummy, dad is very honest... Mummy: How can u say that..? Son: Simple... He closes one eye whenever he sees any lady passing by...!

tom enters kitchen and opens the sugar box. Sees inside and closes it. Wife observes the whole episode Again he comes and does the same stuff. Wife asks Why are you doing this? Tom replies: Doctor told to check sugar level regularly

Wife:Yester-night I saw a dream that u were sending me jewellery and clothes! Husband: Yeah, I saw ur dad paying the bill !!!

2 sardar soldiers captured a pakistani, gave him dice & said, if u get 1,2,3,4,5 V'll kill u! paki asks: 6 aya to? sardars: Then, throw again..