Boy: Mummy, if I failed in this exam I'll commite suicide.Mothe'Shut up! Never say that. If U try to do so I'll just kill you..

Wats d Diff btwn own Wife & Other's Wife..??Own Wife is CHOCLATE can have Any Time..Other's Wife is like ICECREAM should have Immediately

Sam to Ram:Did U kill mosquitoes?Yes.But why they still bite me at night?They must be widows of the dead ones.

What did one magnet say to the other? I find you very attractive.

Sir:Can ppl tell the future with cards?Sam:My mom can.Sir:Really?Sam:1 look at my report card n she wll tel me wot happens whn dad gets home

Q: Why are husbands like lawn mowers? A: They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time!

Stalking into a police station late one night, a man demands to speak to the burglar who broke into his home. "Sorry,that's against the rule," says the desk sergeant."You didn't get it," says the man."I need to know how he got in without waking my wife."

Husband 1: Why do u take your wife only to night clubs? Husband 2: Buddy by the time she gets ready no other place is open!

Man to Doc:Is there any way for long life? Doc:Get married. Man:Will it help? Doc:No,but the thought of long life will never come to your mind

Lady sitting on a park bench.Beggar:Hi darling.!shall v have some fun ?lady angrily:How dare U ?Beggar:Then What r U doin on my bed ?

One day a man inserted an 'advert' in the local classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

Lady1:"What do u think bout husbands?" Lady2:"They r like OWLS..!" Lady1:"How?"Lady2:"They see good things in their wives only in the night.