What did Tarzan say when he heard the elephants coming? Here come the elephants!

Judge to accused: Have you anything to offer before I pass sentence on you?Accused: No, Your Honour. My lawyer took my last dollar.

A pathan want 2 commit suicide, When asked : Pathan said,my wife ran wid my Best Friend & i can't live widout my friend

Guide: I welcome u all to the Niagra falls. These are the world s largest Waterfalls and the sound intensity of the Waterfall is so high, sound of even 20 supersonic planes passing cant be heard! Now may I request the ladies to keep quiet so that we can hear the Niagra falls??

A police recruit was asked during exam, "What would u do if u had to arrest ur own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."

What do you call a letter delivered from a chimney? A. Black mail

Q: Why do brides wear white? A: To blend in with everything else in the kitchen.

Thief : quickly hand over your purse I have a gun Lady : here take it Thief : ha! ha! no bullets in my gun. Lady : ha! ha! no money in my purse

Wife:Wherever we keep d money, our son steals it.I don't know what to do about itHus: Keep it in his ENGINEERING books. He'l never touch.

Teachefour beautiful ladies r walking on the road. Change it to Exclamatory sentence... Student: WOW!.

Teacher: pappu, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. pappu: Me!

Sir:Can ppl tell the future with cards?Sam:My mom can.Sir:Really?Sam:1 look at my report card n she wll tel me wot happens whn dad gets home