Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I’ll be yours forever.The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful am I for you? Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem can there be greater than this one?”

Man-i want a divorce. My wife hasnt spoken 2 me for six months now! Judge-better think it over! Wives like that are hard 2 get!

Do you believe that getting married on a Friday brings bad luck ? "Of course, why would Friday be an exception?"

Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden. Boy: It’s very kind of you, darling, but I don’t have any worries or troubles. Girl: Well that’s because we aren’t married yet.

Teache Give An example to use neither-nor. Boy: When girls wear tight fittings, neither they are comfortable nor we are comfortable…

Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa, a Man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.

Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant

A lady had 8 sons all named KEVIN, when asked how she differentiates while calling, she replied “by their surname”.

Why dogs don't marry? A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!

Stalking into a police station late one night, a man demands to speak to the burglar who broke into his home. "Sorry,that's against the rule," says the desk sergeant."You didn't get it," says the man."I need to know how he got in without waking my wife."