Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated? Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

Wife: Why are you home so early? Husband: My boss told me to go to hell.

A father to his adopted son "Whats the height of laziness?" Son replied "What more than havin an adopted son.

Teacher: pappu, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. pappu: Me!

TEACHER : PAPPU, give me a sentence starting with “I”. PAPPU : I is… TEACHER : No, PAPPU. Always say, “I am.” PAPPU : All right… “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”

1st thief:Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!2nd thief: But this is the 13th floor.1st thief: Hurry! this is no time for superstitions

A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist if there is anybody in Room 27 She goes and checks, and comes back to the phone, telling him that the room is empty "Good," says the man. "That means I must have really escaped."

*A young accountant stayed late at the office day after day. Finally, the boss called him in and asked for an explanation. "Well, you see sir," he stammered, "my wife works, too-- and if I get home before she does, I have to cook the dinner."

young girl praying:pls God marry me with intelligent man god replied: thats impossible, because intelligent men don't get married

Frnd1: u have married with 1 of the twin sisters, how do u recognize ur wife? Frnd2: why should I ? : )

A lady had 8 sons all named KEVIN, when asked how she differentiates while calling, she replied “by their surname”.

Why r Egyptian children always confused? Because after death their daddy becomes Mummy