Man runs home shouting pack your bags honey, i just won 10 million in lottery. wife: Do i pack for beach or Resort ? Man : Who cares? just pack and get lost.

Police to a drunkard: Where are you going? Man: To listen to a lecture on the ill effects of drinking, on health. Pol: Who'll lecture at Midnite? Man:My wife,.

Santa Banta find a bomb Santa and Banta find three hand grenades and decide to take them to the police station. "What if one of them explodes before we get there?" asks Banta. "Don’t worry about it," says Santa. "We’ll just lie and tell them we only found two."

Why there are always two cops in a car patrol ? A: In case the siren won't work, one of them to scream "Wouuuu-Wouuuuu" and the other - "Blue, Red, Blue, Red, Blue, Red.."

Husband to wife: Why do you keep reading our marriage licence? Wife to Husband: I'm looking for a loophole

Why do bosses prefer round table conferences? So that no1 can corner them.

Mr.bean said to his GirlFriend"I luv u"& fell down. Again Told"I luv u"&fell down.Girl: y u r doing like this? Mr.bean: I am falling in love

He said... Do u love me just coz my father left me a fortune? She said... No stupid, I'd love u no matter who left you the money!

Wife: u know, husband and wife are not allowed 2 be together in heaven!!! Husband: yes, that's y it's called heaven

Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

A little kid asks his Dad, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" "No idea," replied the Father, "I'm still paying for it..."

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful am I for you? Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem can there be greater than this one?”