Judge to accused: Have you anything to offer before I pass sentence on you?Accused: No, Your Honour. My lawyer took my last dollar.

Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated? Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

humne suna hai ishq mein ratoin ki neend udda jati hai plzzzzzzz koi humse bhi ishq karo hume ratoin ko neend bahut aati hai.

First Lady-"If you dont love your husband why dont you divorce him???"2nd Lady-Oh I hate him so much that I dont want to see him haappy

A lady gave an advertisement in the classifieds : "Husband Wanted". Next day she received a 100 letters. They all said da same thing : "U can have mine"

An American couple had a black baby,The husband did not believe that it was his baby.H-Why is the baby black?Wife-U Hot,i Hot,Baby burnt.

TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?SIMON : No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

Lady:Is this my train Station Master:No,it belongs to the Railway Company L:Don't try to be funny I mean to ask if I can take this train to Delhi SM:No Madam,Im afraid its too heavy

Boy & girl in restaurant.Boy-i love U..Girl-i dont love U..Boy-think again?Girl-i told u NOBoy-waiter,bring seperate bills.Girl-i love u too..

Santa Banta find a bomb Santa and Banta find three hand grenades and decide to take them to the police station. "What if one of them explodes before we get there?" asks Banta. "Don’t worry about it," says Santa. "We’ll just lie and tell them we only found two."

A boy saw a Beautiful Gal. He went & kissed her... GAL : "Stupid...! What're U doing...??" boy : "B Com final year...And U ??"

Q:There is always a sign board'DRIVE SLOWLY' near school,bt never near girls college.Why? Ans:BECAUSE HERE VEHICLES AUTOMATICALLY GET SLOW!