What do you call a letter delivered from a chimney? A. Black mail

Santa Banta find a bomb Santa and Banta find three hand grenades and decide to take them to the police station. "What if one of them explodes before we get there?" asks Banta. "Don’t worry about it," says Santa. "We’ll just lie and tell them we only found two."

What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant

Q: Why do brides wear white? A: To blend in with everything else in the kitchen.

What is the height of mixed emotions??? when ur mother in law falls from 7th floor on ur mercedes

T'CHER:What do we do with crude oil?S'dent:Teach it some manners

Wife:Honey wht ru looking4? Husband:Nothing. Wife:Nothing?U've been reading our marriage certificate 4an hour?Husband:I was just luking 4d expriy date!

TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.WINNIE : Me!

Father: What was the hardest thing u learned at college?Son: How to open Beer bottles with teeth...!!

FathWhich r d 2 hardest things U learnt in College?Son: Opening Beer botles wth teeth & Lighting Cigarete wth only 1 Match Left In Heavy wind!

One day a man inserted an 'advert' in the local classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

Boss: (to employee) - Experts say humor on the job relieves tension in this time of down-sizing, Knock, Knock. Employee: Who's there? Boss: Not you anymore.