A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court,” said the desk sergeant. “No, no, no!”, said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”

Wife:Honey wht ru looking4? Husband:Nothing. Wife:Nothing?U've been reading our marriage certificate 4an hour?Husband:I was just luking 4d expriy date!

Two men are discussing their lives. One says, "I'm getting married. I'm tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and no clothes to wear." The other one says, "I'm getting divorced for the same reasons."

Man: Whisper those three words that will make me walk on air. Woman: Go hang yourself

When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness

Pappu: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady. Jeeto: Well, you have done the right thing. Pappu: But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap

Wife: I hate the Beggar who came yesterday!Husband: Why??Wife: I gave him food yesterday & today He gifted me a book"How to Cook"!!

Man: God, how long is a million years to you? God: A second. Man: How much is $ 1 Million to you? God: A cent. Man: Can I borrow a cent? God: Wait a second. =)

English Teacher: Make a sentence using "Neither-Nor" Naughty boy Student: When girls wear tight fitting dresses, "NEiTHER" are they comfortable, "NOR" are we!

TeacheHow come you do not comb your hair? Boy: No comb, Sir. TeacheUse your dad's then. Boy: No hair, Sir.

If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.

teachewat is the relation betn earth & moon? pappu: brother-sister. teacher:how? pappu: we cal earth dharti mata & moon as chanda mama