Man: God, how long is a million years to you? God: A second. Man: How much is $ 1 Million to you? God: A cent. Man: Can I borrow a cent? God: Wait a second. =)

Guide: I welcome u all to the Niagra falls. These are the world s largest Waterfalls and the sound intensity of the Waterfall is so high, sound of even 20 supersonic planes passing cant be heard! Now may I request the ladies to keep quiet so that we can hear the Niagra falls??

Dad:Why aren't you doing well in history?Pappu:Because the Teacher keeps on asking things that happened before my birth

Author: "I'm convinced that the publishers have a conspiracy against me." Friend: "What makes you think so?" Author: "Ten of them have refused the same story."

Father: What was the hardest thing u learned at college?Son: How to open Beer bottles with teeth...!!

Why r Egyptian children always confused? Because after death their daddy becomes Mummy

A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

Man: Whisper those three words that will make me walk on air. Woman: Go hang yourself

When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness

A new Boy joins class_ He finds two Boys similar in appearance. Asks one of them Are you both twins...? Boy replies No. We are neighbour

I went to see the doctor who said, just be a little patient.

Wife: Im ashamed of the way we live; papa pays the house rent, my brother sends food and clothing, aunty pays our electric and water bills and my friend Sheela buys us movie tickets.I dont like to complain but now its too much. Husband: U shud be ashamed; uve still got 1 sister and 2 brothers, who dont send us even a single penny.