Man: God, how long is a million years to you? God: A second. Man: How much is $ 1 Million to you? God: A cent. Man: Can I borrow a cent? God: Wait a second. =)
A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist if there is anybody in Room 27 She goes and checks, and comes back to the phone, telling him that the room is empty "Good," says the man. "That means I must have really escaped."
Boss: (to employee) - Experts say humor on the job relieves tension in this time of down-sizing, Knock, Knock. Employee: Who's there? Boss: Not you anymore.
Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress. I keep losing my temper with people. Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I just did, you stupid bastard!
Author: "I'm convinced that the publishers have a conspiracy against me." Friend: "What makes you think so?" Author: "Ten of them have refused the same story."
