A company held a contest for kids with the theme: "The nicest thing My Father Ever Did For Me." One kid answered "He married my mother."

What did Tarzan say when he heard the elephants coming? Here come the elephants!

If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.

Q: Why do brides wear white? A: To blend in with everything else in the kitchen.

Why r Egyptian children always confused? Because after death their daddy becomes Mummy

Dad : Son, what do you want for your birthday? Son : Not much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it.

Girl: Will you love me after marriage also? Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.

What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant

1st thief:Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!2nd thief: But this is the 13th floor.1st thief: Hurry! this is no time for superstitions

An American couple had a black baby,The husband did not believe that it was his baby.H-Why is the baby black?Wife-U Hot,i Hot,Baby burnt.

A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court,” said the desk sergeant. “No, no, no!”, said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”

English Teacher: Make a sentence using "Neither-Nor" Naughty boy Student: When girls wear tight fitting dresses, "NEiTHER" are they comfortable, "NOR" are we!