Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: why three? Husband: 4 u and ur parents.

Why do elephants never forget? Because nobody ever tells them anything

An englishman, bihari & punjabi were standing on roof. They decided to throw down whatever was available in excess with them. Englishman threw pounds, Bihari threw rice & Punjabi threw the Bihari down.

Santa Banta find a bomb Santa and Banta find three hand grenades and decide to take them to the police station. "What if one of them explodes before we get there?" asks Banta. "Don’t worry about it," says Santa. "We’ll just lie and tell them we only found two."

Q: Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?A: He wanted to win the No-bell prize.

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical and a good cook..... But the law allows only one wife

What do u call if Bill Gate's mothr gets bored.?BEAT THISAny guess?MOTHERBOARD!Gud nite

Sir:B quiet boys!I hav a bad headache Sdent:Why dont u do wot mum Does whn she has a headache?Sir:Whats tht?Sdent:She sends us out to paly

Q: Why are husbands like lawn mowers? A: They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time!

Reporter: How does it feel to become a millionaire? Millionaire: Sad, because I am not a billionaire.

Why does history keep repeating it self? Because we weren't listening the first time !

Teacher:What was the first think Akbar did on ascending to the throne?Student:Well,he sat down