Q. What do men and beer bottles have in common? A. They are both empty from the neck up.

A drunk was hauled into court. "Mister," the judge began, "You ve been brought here for drinking." "Great," the drunk exclaimed." When do we get started?"…

Thief : quickly hand over your purse I have a gun Lady : here take it Thief : ha! ha! no bullets in my gun. Lady : ha! ha! no money in my purse

TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.WINNIE : Me!

Why do elephants never forget? Because nobody ever tells them anything

Boy & girl in restaurant.Boy-i love U..Girl-i dont love U..Boy-think again?Girl-i told u NOBoy-waiter,bring seperate bills.Girl-i love u too..

Man: Whisper those three words that will make me walk on air. Woman: Go hang yourself

An American couple had a black baby,The husband did not believe that it was his baby.H-Why is the baby black?Wife-U Hot,i Hot,Baby burnt.

Physics teachr saw boy slepin Askd "Telme da unit f power" Boy woke up n said-"What sir?" Teachr exclaimd"Ok Gud Sit Down!" What=WATT!

Commerce professor asks the student: what is the most important source of finance for starting business? Student: "Father in law".

Boy Asks A Girl: Can U Dance With Me. GIRL: I Dont Dance With a Child.. BOY: Sorry, I did not Know U were Pregnant.

Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth, but don't worry it will take just five minutes. Patient: And how much will it cost? Dentist: It's Rs 1000. Patient: One thousand for just a few minutes work??? Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like