Honey, when we get married, I'll be there to share all your troubles and sorrows." "But I don't have any, my love." "I said, when we get married"

Girl: Will you love me after marriage also? Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.

Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress. I keep losing my temper with people. Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I just did, you stupid bastard!

Do you believe that getting married on a Friday brings bad luck ? "Of course, why would Friday be an exception?"

Teacher:I wish you would pay a little attention!Student:I'm paying as little as I can sir

Why do elephants never forget? Because nobody ever tells them anything

Do you want to hear a dirty joke? B. Ok A. A white horse fell in the mud

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I’ll be yours forever.The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.

Mr A: my wife kisses me every night when I get home. Mr B: mine too, but only 2 c if I have been drinking.

After a lengthy quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied: "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."

Q:Why most men prefer to kiss women's lips? Ans:Thats the best & probably the only way to shut a woman's mouth.

A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court,” said the desk sergeant. “No, no, no!”, said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”