Two men were talking at a party. "I," said the first,"only believe half of what people tell me." "Why ?" "I'm a lawyer." "I believe twice what people tell me." "What are you ?" "A tax inspector."

Physics teachr saw boy slepin Askd "Telme da unit f power" Boy woke up n said-"What sir?" Teachr exclaimd"Ok Gud Sit Down!" What=WATT!

Sam to Ram:Did U kill mosquitoes?Yes.But why they still bite me at night?They must be widows of the dead ones.

What is the height of mixed emotions??? when ur mother in law falls from 7th floor on ur mercedes

What do you call a letter delivered from a chimney? A. Black mail

A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court,” said the desk sergeant. “No, no, no!”, said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”

Man calls mental hospital & asks if there is anybody in Room 27. Lady checks & tells him that the room is empty. Man: Good,that means I have really escaped.!

Q:Define a true music lover? Ans: a girl is singing in bathroom while taking bath & a boy near the keyhole is using his ears & not his eyes.

I went to see the doctor who said, just be a little patient.

indian- i have 4 sister n 3 brothers what abt u? American-i hav no sis or no bro but i hav 4 moms frm 1st dad n 5 dads frm my 1st mom

Husband says"When Im gone you'll nevr find another man like me". Wife replied"What makes you think I'd want another man like you?!!!".

First Lady-"If you dont love your husband why dont you divorce him???"2nd Lady-Oh I hate him so much that I dont want to see him haappy