santa was looking very sad."Wats d matter,Srdarji?" "I lent Rs. 5Lac to a friend for plastic surgery. Now I dnt know how he looks.."

Man-i want a divorce. My wife hasnt spoken 2 me for six months now! Judge-better think it over! Wives like that are hard 2 get!

Son: Mummy, dad is very honest... Mummy: How can u say that..? Son: Simple... He closes one eye whenever he sees any lady passing by...!

Stalking into a police station late one night, a man demands to speak to the burglar who broke into his home. "Sorry,that's against the rule," says the desk sergeant."You didn't get it," says the man."I need to know how he got in without waking my wife."

Judge to accused: Have you anything to offer before I pass sentence on you?Accused: No, Your Honour. My lawyer took my last dollar.

Teacher : If u have 12 chocolates u gv 5 to Leena,3 to Tina,4 to Meena, den what wil u get? Student: 3 NEW GIRLFRIENDS

TEACHER : IF U HAVE 12 CHOCOLATES U GV 5 TO LEENA,3 TO TINA,4 TO MEENA, DEN WHAT WIL U GET? STUDENT: 3 NEW GIRLFRIENDS

Movie director:in this scene u jump from 10th floor.Actor:what if i die?director:Dats not at all a problem,It"s da last scene

Commerce professor asks the student: what is the most important source of finance for starting business? Student: "Father in law".

Guide: I welcome u all to the Niagra falls. These are the world s largest Waterfalls and the sound intensity of the Waterfall is so high, sound of even 20 supersonic planes passing cant be heard! Now may I request the ladies to keep quiet so that we can hear the Niagra falls??

A father to his adopted son "Whats the height of laziness?" Son replied "What more than havin an adopted son.

Wife:Yester-night I saw a dream that u were sending me jewellery and clothes! Husband: Yeah, I saw ur dad paying the bill !!!