Judge to accused: Have you anything to offer before I pass sentence on you?Accused: No, Your Honour. My lawyer took my last dollar.

An American couple had a black baby,The husband did not believe that it was his baby.H-Why is the baby black?Wife-U Hot,i Hot,Baby burnt.

Guide: I welcome u all to the Niagra falls. These are the world s largest Waterfalls and the sound intensity of the Waterfall is so high, sound of even 20 supersonic planes passing cant be heard! Now may I request the ladies to keep quiet so that we can hear the Niagra falls??

Pappu: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady. Jeeto: Well, you have done the right thing. Pappu: But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap

Hus: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It is Without Information, Fighting Everytime! WIFE: No darling, its : With Idiot For Ever

Boss: Drive slow. Driver: But sir, u said you want to reach the hospital fast. Boss: Yes, but not as a patient..

Boy: I am not rich like akash, I don't even have a big car like rohit. But I really love you! Girl: I love you too, but tell me more about akash.

A sardar on an interview for the post of detective was asked a question - Interviewer - Who killed Gandhiji ? Sardar - Thanks for giving me the job, I will investigate.

A Student goes into a library & asks for a book on suicide..! Librarian: "Get lost dude, U won't bring it back.

Can I go to the theatre? Asks a mosquito ot her mother. "yes but be aware, pay attention during the applause."

judge-what you do? prisnor-This & that judge-where you live? prisnor-here&there judge(to policeman)-Arrest him. prisnor-when i will come out judge-sooner&later

TEACHER : IF U HAVE 12 CHOCOLATES U GV 5 TO LEENA,3 TO TINA,4 TO MEENA, DEN WHAT WIL U GET? STUDENT: 3 NEW GIRLFRIENDS