Customer: Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up? Waiter: I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.

A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

Teacher : Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon? Pupil: Moon... Teacher : Why? Pupil : The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it.

Guide: I welcome u all to the Niagra falls. These are the world s largest Waterfalls and the sound intensity of the Waterfall is so high, sound of even 20 supersonic planes passing cant be heard! Now may I request the ladies to keep quiet so that we can hear the Niagra falls??

The definition of a perfect Wife? - one who helps the husband with the dishes..

Wife: I hate the Beggar who came yesterday!Husband: Why??Wife: I gave him food yesterday & today He gifted me a book"How to Cook"!!

Police to a drunkard: Where are you going? Man: To listen to a lecture on the ill effects of drinking, on health. Pol: Who'll lecture at Midnite? Man:My wife,.

Tcher: How Old is ur father. Sunny: As old as I m. Tcher: How is it possible? Sunny: He bcom father only after I was born.

Q:Why most men prefer to kiss women's lips? Ans:Thats the best & probably the only way to shut a woman's mouth.

Teen boy:Dad I want to be like Ghandhiji Dad:Good why not..!Boy:Thanx Dad so lets start with marriage as Gandhiji were married at age of 14

Man to Doc:Is there any way for long life? Doc:Get married. Man:Will it help? Doc:No,but the thought of long life will never come to your mind

Sir:G.Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree,but also admitted doing it. Now,kid, do you know why his father didn't punish him?"kid:Because George still had the axe in his hand.