Tcher: 3 grls are walking in da road. Turn the sentence in to exclamitory. studnt: WOW!

Do you believe that getting married on a Friday brings bad luck ? "Of course, why would Friday be an exception?"

What does Santa do after taking a xerox? He compares it with the original for any spelling mistakes.

One day a man inserted an 'advert' in the local classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

Wife: Why are you home so early? Husband: My boss told me to go to hell.

A teacher was asking her class what their fathers did. When she asked young Johnny, he said, "My father's dead, Miss." "Oh, I am sorry, Johnny. In that case, what did he do before he died?" "He went blue and collapsed."

WIFE : " I wish I was a newspaper, so I'd be in ur hands all day." HUSBAND : " I too wish that u were a newspaper, so I could have a new one

Boy Asks A Girl: Can U Dance With Me. GIRL: I Dont Dance With a Child.. BOY: Sorry, I did not Know U were Pregnant.

Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress. I keep losing my temper with people. Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I just did, you stupid bastard!

Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth, but don't worry it will take just five minutes. Patient: And how much will it cost? Dentist: It's Rs 1000. Patient: One thousand for just a few minutes work??? Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like

A police recruit was asked during exam, "What would u do if u had to arrest ur own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."

What did one magnet say to the other? I find you very attractive.