What did one magnet say to the other? I find you very attractive.

Can I go to the theatre? Asks a mosquito ot her mother. "yes but be aware, pay attention during the applause."

Two men are discussing their lives. One says, "I'm getting married. I'm tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and no clothes to wear." The other one says, "I'm getting divorced for the same reasons."

Wife: Im ashamed of the way we live; papa pays the house rent, my brother sends food and clothing, aunty pays our electric and water bills and my friend Sheela buys us movie tickets.I dont like to complain but now its too much. Husband: U shud be ashamed; uve still got 1 sister and 2 brothers, who dont send us even a single penny.

Son asks father diff.btw Confidence and Confidential? Dad says- u are my son, i am confident, ur friend is also my son that's Confidential

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do? Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes

Man calls mental hospital & asks if there is anybody in Room 27. Lady checks & tells him that the room is empty. Man: Good,that means I have really escaped.!

Guide: I welcome u all to the Niagra falls. These are the world s largest Waterfalls and the sound intensity of the Waterfall is so high, sound of even 20 supersonic planes passing cant be heard! Now may I request the ladies to keep quiet so that we can hear the Niagra falls??

Boy- From the day I m ur friend, I m not able to eat, drink or smoke.Girl- how sweet, so u r madly in LOVE with me..!Boy- SHUT UP..!!, U made my pocket empty.

I went to see the doctor who said, just be a little patient.

somu:mobile bill kitna hai? Callcentre gal:just dial 123 to knw ur current bill status. somu:abe Stupid current ka nahi mobile ka.

Wife: Why are you home so early? Husband: My boss told me to go to hell.