Man to Doc:Is there any way for long life? Doc:Get married. Man:Will it help? Doc:No,but the thought of long life will never come to your mind

Father: What was the hardest thing u learned at college?Son: How to open Beer bottles with teeth...!!

A lady had 8 sons all named KEVIN, when asked how she differentiates while calling, she replied “by their surname”.

Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth, but don't worry it will take just five minutes. Patient: And how much will it cost? Dentist: It's Rs 1000. Patient: One thousand for just a few minutes work??? Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like

Thief : quickly hand over your purse I have a gun Lady : here take it Thief : ha! ha! no bullets in my gun. Lady : ha! ha! no money in my purse

Hus: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It is Without Information, Fighting Everytime! WIFE: No darling, its : With Idiot For Ever

A little kid asks his Dad, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" "No idea," replied the Father, "I'm still paying for it..."

Girl: Will you love me after marriage also? Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.

Two men are discussing their lives. One says, "I'm getting married. I'm tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and no clothes to wear." The other one says, "I'm getting divorced for the same reasons."

Q:There is always a sign board'DRIVE SLOWLY' near school,bt never near girls college.Why? Ans:BECAUSE HERE VEHICLES AUTOMATICALLY GET SLOW!

Mr.bean said to his GirlFriend"I luv u"& fell down. Again Told"I luv u"&fell down.Girl: y u r doing like this? Mr.bean: I am falling in love

Doc & engg loved d same girl. Engg before going out of station for a week gave 7 apples to the girl. Why? B'coz an apple a day keeps doctor away