Teacher : Peter,why are you late for school again? PeteWell, Miss,I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time

Principal 2 students:U people must sleep atleast 7 hours a day.Students:Impossible sir!College is only for 6 hours!

Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated? Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

Guide: I welcome u all to the Niagra falls. These are the world s largest Waterfalls and the sound intensity of the Waterfall is so high, sound of even 20 supersonic planes passing cant be heard! Now may I request the ladies to keep quiet so that we can hear the Niagra falls??

Q: Why do brides wear white? A: To blend in with everything else in the kitchen.

Man Conducting Marketing Survey asked a Lady:"Which Book Has HeLped you most in your Life?"Lady:My Husband's "Cheque Book!"

Customer: Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up? Waiter: I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.

Movie director:in this scene u jump from 10th floor. Actor:what if i die? director:Dats not at all a problem,It"s da last scene

JUDGE:WHY did U Shoot Ur Wife instead of shooting her LOVER?MAN:Ur Honour, it\'s Easier 2 Shoot a WOMAN once,than ----SHOOTING a Man Every Month

Teache Give An example to use neither-nor. Boy: When girls wear tight fittings, neither they are comfortable nor we are comfortable…

Man: God, how long is a million years to you? God: A second. Man: How much is $ 1 Million to you? God: A cent. Man: Can I borrow a cent? God: Wait a second. =)

Boy: Y did Gandhiji have no hair on his head? TeacheIts sign of inteligence Boy: Now i undrstand y girls have so long hair!...