Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: why three? Husband: 4 u and ur parents.

Why do u take your wife 2 night clubs only?Laloo-By the time she gets ready no othr place is open

Man-i want a divorce. My wife hasnt spoken 2 me for six months now! Judge-better think it over! Wives like that are hard 2 get!

Driver:is der no tree on dis road?Passengr:Sir,u r so great,I lik ur social mind.Drivr:Stupid,bus's brake has failed

Father: What was the hardest thing u learned at college?Son: How to open Beer bottles with teeth...!!

Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa, a Man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.

A little kid asks his Dad, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" "No idea," replied the Father, "I'm still paying for it..."

Stalking into a police station late one night, a man demands to speak to the burglar who broke into his home. "Sorry,that's against the rule," says the desk sergeant."You didn't get it," says the man."I need to know how he got in without waking my wife."

Q. What do men and beer bottles have in common? A. They are both empty from the neck up.

Sir:G.Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree,but also admitted doing it. Now,kid, do you know why his father didn't punish him?"kid:Because George still had the axe in his hand.

Tcher: 3 grls are walking in da road. Turn the sentence in to exclamitory. studnt: WOW!

Man Conducting Marketing Survey asked a Lady:"Which Book Has HeLped you most in your Life?"Lady:My Husband's "Cheque Book!"