Man: God, how long is a million years to you? God: A second. Man: How much is $ 1 Million to you? God: A cent. Man: Can I borrow a cent? God: Wait a second. =)

Doctor, doctor, will i be able to play the violin after the operation?" "yes of course...." "Great ! i never could before"

The two partners in a law firm were having lunch when suddenly one of them jumped up from the table and said, "I have to go back to the office. I forgot to lock the safe!" "What are you worried about?" the other said. "We're both here."

Sir:Can ppl tell the future with cards?Sam:My mom can.Sir:Really?Sam:1 look at my report card n she wll tel me wot happens whn dad gets home

Teacher:What was the first think Akbar did on ascending to the throne?Student:Well,he sat down

Santa Banta find a bomb Santa and Banta find three hand grenades and decide to take them to the police station. "What if one of them explodes before we get there?" asks Banta. "Don’t worry about it," says Santa. "We’ll just lie and tell them we only found two."

Do you want to hear a dirty joke? B. Ok A. A white horse fell in the mud

Never Explain Yourself to Anyone Because The person Who Likes U Doesnt Need It. And The Person Who Dislikes U Wont belive it....!!

Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: why three? Husband: 4 u and ur parents.

A teacher was asking her class what their fathers did. When she asked young Johnny, he said, "My father's dead, Miss." "Oh, I am sorry, Johnny. In that case, what did he do before he died?" "He went blue and collapsed."

Q: If a devil catches your wife, what would you do?A: You can do nothing. if devil has committed a mistake let him face the consequences.

Boss: Drive slow. Driver: But sir, u said you want to reach the hospital fast. Boss: Yes, but not as a patient..