Customer: Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up? Waiter: I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.

Principal 2 students:U people must sleep atleast 7 hours a day.Students:Impossible sir!College is only for 6 hours!

Man Conducting Marketing Survey asked a Lady:"Which Book Has HeLped you most in your Life?"Lady:My Husband's "Cheque Book!"

Doctor to lady: U look exactly like my 3rd wife. Lady: How many wife do u have? Docto2.

Wife: I hate the Beggar who came yesterday!Husband: Why??Wife: I gave him food yesterday & today He gifted me a book"How to Cook"!!

A father to his adopted son "Whats the height of laziness?" Son replied "What more than havin an adopted son.

Q. What do men and beer bottles have in common? A. They are both empty from the neck up.

Why do bosses prefer round table conferences? So that no1 can corner them.

Q: Why do brides wear white? A: To blend in with everything else in the kitchen.

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I’ll be yours forever.The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful am I for you? Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem can there be greater than this one?”

Commerce professor asks the student: what is the most important source of finance for starting business? Student: "Father in law".