A company held a contest for kids with the theme: "The nicest thing My Father Ever Did For Me." One kid answered "He married my mother."

Man: God, how long is a million years to you? God: A second. Man: How much is $ 1 Million to you? God: A cent. Man: Can I borrow a cent? God: Wait a second. =)

young girl praying:pls God marry me with intelligent man god replied: thats impossible, because intelligent men don't get married

A father to his adopted son "Whats the height of laziness?" Son replied "What more than havin an adopted son.

A Student goes into a library & asks for a book on suicide..! Librarian: "Get lost dude, U won't bring it back.

Why do bosses prefer round table conferences? So that no1 can corner them.

What is D diff. betwn a Secretary&a Personal Secretary? Secretary says,"Good Morning Sir"&Personal Secretary says,"Oh my God!Its morninG sir.

Reporter: How does it feel to become a millionaire? Millionaire: Sad, because I am not a billionaire.

Why r Egyptian children always confused? Because after death their daddy becomes Mummy

*A young accountant stayed late at the office day after day. Finally, the boss called him in and asked for an explanation. "Well, you see sir," he stammered, "my wife works, too-- and if I get home before she does, I have to cook the dinner."

Girl: Do U love me?Boy:'Ofcourse darling i do. Girl:Wil U luv me after marriage also? Boy:Tht depends on ur husband. If he allows Me 2 luv u.

What did one magnet say to the other? I find you very attractive.