WIFE : " I wish I was a newspaper, so I'd be in ur hands all day." HUSBAND : " I too wish that u were a newspaper, so I could have a new one

Honey, when we get married, I'll be there to share all your troubles and sorrows." "But I don't have any, my love." "I said, when we get married"

A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court,” said the desk sergeant. “No, no, no!”, said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”

Lady1:"What do u think bout husbands?" Lady2:"They r like OWLS..!" Lady1:"How?"Lady2:"They see good things in their wives only in the night.

After a lengthy quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied: "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."

Wife: Im ashamed of the way we live; papa pays the house rent, my brother sends food and clothing, aunty pays our electric and water bills and my friend Sheela buys us movie tickets.I dont like to complain but now its too much. Husband: U shud be ashamed; uve still got 1 sister and 2 brothers, who dont send us even a single penny.

Son: Mummy, dad is very honest... Mummy: How can u say that..? Son: Simple... He closes one eye whenever he sees any lady passing by...!

Teacher: Sonu, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? Sonu: No, teacher, it's the same dog

Husband to wife: Why do you keep reading our marriage licence? Wife to Husband: I'm looking for a loophole

Boy & girl in restaurant.Boy-i love U..Girl-i dont love U..Boy-think again?Girl-i told u NOBoy-waiter,bring seperate bills.Girl-i love u too..

humne suna hai ishq mein ratoin ki neend udda jati hai plzzzzzzz koi humse bhi ishq karo hume ratoin ko neend bahut aati hai.

young girl praying:pls God marry me with intelligent man god replied: thats impossible, because intelligent men don't get married