The definition of a perfect Wife? - one who helps the husband with the dishes..

Man Conducting Marketing Survey asked a Lady:"Which Book Has HeLped you most in your Life?"Lady:My Husband's "Cheque Book!"

Teacher:What was the first think Akbar did on ascending to the throne?Student:Well,he sat down

Guide: I welcome u all to the Niagra falls. These are the world s largest Waterfalls and the sound intensity of the Waterfall is so high, sound of even 20 supersonic planes passing cant be heard! Now may I request the ladies to keep quiet so that we can hear the Niagra falls??

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I’ll be yours forever.The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.

Pappu: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady. Jeeto: Well, you have done the right thing. Pappu: But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful am I for you? Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem can there be greater than this one?”

Sam to Ram:Did U kill mosquitoes?Yes.But why they still bite me at night?They must be widows of the dead ones.

A pathan want 2 commit suicide, When asked : Pathan said,my wife ran wid my Best Friend & i can't live widout my friend

Mr A: my wife kisses me every night when I get home. Mr B: mine too, but only 2 c if I have been drinking.

Son: Mummy, dad is very honest... Mummy: How can u say that..? Son: Simple... He closes one eye whenever he sees any lady passing by...!

A sardar on an interview for the post of detective was asked a question - Interviewer - Who killed Gandhiji ? Sardar - Thanks for giving me the job, I will investigate.