WIFE : " I wish I was a newspaper, so I'd be in ur hands all day." HUSBAND : " I too wish that u were a newspaper, so I could have a new one

A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court,” said the desk sergeant. “No, no, no!”, said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”

What does Santa do after taking a xerox? He compares it with the original for any spelling mistakes.

Two men were talking at a party. "I," said the first,"only believe half of what people tell me." "Why ?" "I'm a lawyer." "I believe twice what people tell me." "What are you ?" "A tax inspector."

A lady gave an advertisement in the classifieds : "Husband Wanted". Next day she received a 100 letters. They all said da same thing : "U can have mine"

Teacher:The best way to double the money in stock market!Student:Invest 4 times the money!!---

Teacher:Draw A Diagram Of Bacteria Pappu:Here It Is Sir Teacher:Where? u Haven't Drawn Anything Pappu:Sir,Cn u See Bacteria Withot Microscop

Whats the height of hope??? A 99 year old lady going for airtel ka naya lifetime scheme.......!!

Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

What did one magnet say to the other? I find you very attractive.

Somu:2day my pocket got picked but my wif saved me raj:Did she catch d thief? Somu:No man!She often removes most of d cash frm my Pocket

Hello My son won't come to school today,he has fever. Teacher: Oh,who's speaking? Boy: This is my father