Why does history keep repeating it self? Because we weren't listening the first time !

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful am I for you? Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem can there be greater than this one?”

What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant

WIFE: What Should I Get FOR U FROM London? HUS: A BRITISH Girl! She Left Quietly. On Her Return. HUS: My Gift? WIFE: Honey,Wait For 9Month.

A police recruit was asked during exam, "What would u do if u had to arrest ur own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."

What is the next thing a Man should do after winning an argument wit his Wife ?...........Apologise

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do? Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes

Lady sitting on a park bench.Beggar:Hi darling.!shall v have some fun ?lady angrily:How dare U ?Beggar:Then What r U doin on my bed ?

Q: Why do brides wear white? A: To blend in with everything else in the kitchen.

A father to his adopted son "Whats the height of laziness?" Son replied "What more than havin an adopted son.

Why do bosses prefer round table conferences? So that no1 can corner them.

What did Tarzan say when he heard the elephants coming? Here come the elephants!