Lady sitting on a park bench.Beggar:Hi darling.!shall v have some fun ?lady angrily:How dare U ?Beggar:Then What r U doin on my bed ?

A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

Reporter: How does it feel to become a millionaire? Millionaire: Sad, because I am not a billionaire.

A cop stops a drunk man and asks: Where you going? I'm going to listen the lecture about the harm of the drunkenness and alcoholism. At night? And who will give a lecture?My wife and mother-in-law!

Sir:G.Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree,but also admitted doing it. Now,kid, do you know why his father didn't punish him?"kid:Because George still had the axe in his hand.

Doctor to lady: U look exactly like my 3rd wife. Lady: How many wife do u have? Docto2.

Q: Why do brides wear white? A: To blend in with everything else in the kitchen.

Driver:is der no tree on dis road?Passengr:Sir,u r so great,I lik ur social mind.Drivr:Stupid,bus's brake has failed

*A young accountant stayed late at the office day after day. Finally, the boss called him in and asked for an explanation. "Well, you see sir," he stammered, "my wife works, too-- and if I get home before she does, I have to cook the dinner."

What do you call a letter delivered from a chimney? A. Black mail

Father: What was the hardest thing u learned at college?Son: How to open Beer bottles with teeth...!!

Wife:Wherever we keep d money, our son steals it.I don't know what to do about itHus: Keep it in his ENGINEERING books. He'l never touch.