Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress. I keep losing my temper with people. Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I just did, you stupid bastard!

Wife going to Wife returns. Husband:-where is my gift? Wife:-wait 4 9months. London. Wife:-Do u want anything from England? Husband:-ya... English girl.

Dad : Son, what do you want for your birthday? Son : Not much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it.

Why r Egyptian children always confused? Because after death their daddy becomes Mummy

Boy: Mummy, if I failed in this exam I'll commite suicide.Mothe'Shut up! Never say that. If U try to do so I'll just kill you..

A girl comes late to class.TeacheY r u late?Girl: One boy was following me.T: So what?Girl: The boy was walking slowly.

When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness

Technical question: Where u can find mangoes? ...no it is nt in mango tree ..shop?no wrong.. Ans: where WOMENgoes there MANgoes

*A young accountant stayed late at the office day after day. Finally, the boss called him in and asked for an explanation. "Well, you see sir," he stammered, "my wife works, too-- and if I get home before she does, I have to cook the dinner."

Doc & engg loved d same girl. Engg before going out of station for a week gave 7 apples to the girl. Why? B'coz an apple a day keeps doctor away

What is D diff. betwn a Secretary&a Personal Secretary? Secretary says,"Good Morning Sir"&Personal Secretary says,"Oh my God!Its morninG sir.

Dost Ko Dost ka Ishara yad Reheta he Hr Dost Ko Apna Dostana Yad Reheta he Kuch pal Sachhe dost k Sath to Gujaro Wo Afsana Maut tak YaaD Reheta he