Mr A: my wife kisses me every night when I get home. Mr B: mine too, but only 2 c if I have been drinking.

WIFE: What Should I Get FOR U FROM London? HUS: A BRITISH Girl! She Left Quietly. On Her Return. HUS: My Gift? WIFE: Honey,Wait For 9Month.

One day a man inserted an 'advert' in the local classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

Guide: I welcome u all to the Niagra falls. These are the world s largest Waterfalls and the sound intensity of the Waterfall is so high, sound of even 20 supersonic planes passing cant be heard! Now may I request the ladies to keep quiet so that we can hear the Niagra falls??

Boss: Drive slow. Driver: But sir, u said you want to reach the hospital fast. Boss: Yes, but not as a patient..

Tcher: 3 grls are walking in da road. Turn the sentence in to exclamitory. studnt: WOW!

Why does history keep repeating it self? Because we weren't listening the first time !

Lady:Is this my train Station Master:No,it belongs to the Railway Company L:Don't try to be funny I mean to ask if I can take this train to Delhi SM:No Madam,Im afraid its too heavy

College Joke of the year:Lecture"Ur head is full of cow dung.."Student: "Oh, that's why, u eat my head everyday."-

What does Santa do after taking a xerox? He compares it with the original for any spelling mistakes.

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical and a good cook..... But the law allows only one wife

Doctor, doctor, will i be able to play the violin after the operation?" "yes of course...." "Great ! i never could before"